I have a confesion to make. I don't actually check the watchlist notification thingy ever. I have 12,000 notifications right now and thats even after I cut a lot of People. That's too overwhelming to be honest.

Needles to say I won't be checking that anytime soon.

So, if you want me to visit your gallery, comment and favorite, just post a reply to this journal, and I will be checking your profile now and then.

That's it.

You just need to tell me.

List of People I will check out now and then:

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I'm just very glad I have been improving so much lately. Theres a lot way to go, and a lot I still have to learn, but I think I will start my comic very soon.


It's very experimental format But I think I'll be ready soon. Very exited to finally being able to tell stories with art wich was kinda the point.

Stay tuned.

I'm very disappointed with christian manga and christians in general lately.

One of my dreams hobbies is to draw my own story. So I joined years a go a group called "twelve gates"

Long story short I decided to give some feedback and constructive criticism. I though we could grow and improve and grow together. I was never disrespectful.  I have always though christian literature was preachy and poor and I wished to help with that. Chick comics are aweful for instance.


BIG MISTAKE.

Most of the group outright bullied me or was super passive aggressive. Except for the wonderful    ( Thank you for being friendly with me. You are what all christians should be.)

Why?

Unless you declared everything you saw as the most amazing and bestest thing ever. You were somehow a villain.

People out there; the public don't hold back and say things like "You might want to tone down the exposition ". Feeling attacked by statements like that  Is childish and immature. I have been called my art is less than shit and I keep going. I keep improving.

Destroy me with your criticism; tell me my flaws and I wont get offended. Honesty is the only way I will grow. 

I was harassed by one member and the administrator sided with him and erased the evidence. Shout out to my bully which is what you are. 

I'm not going to lie to you. I did lash out and I did because of the bullying and passive aggressiveness I received. I am not a perfect snowflake. I am a flawed human being.

Yes I was angry and I spoke my mind. But unlike them I can admit my flaws and grow from them.

Now the admin of the group rejected my artwork because I dared to have a character that uses the middle finger?  What?

Guess what real people do that. I wanted to make real people with flaws. Christians aren't perfect. Not by a long shot. The flanders christian type? That's fake; a lie. Even Christ got angry now and then. I am tired of these type of people that fake being ever happy, but hate their true selves behind a smile.

Ironically in my life christians have been the biggest bullies in my life. No contest. When I was a teen seversl christians made sure I never had friends and made my life in school a living hell.

I'm currently tired of these christian groups to be honest. I might submit art to them to show thatshallowing your own pride to improve does work.

But I have no interest in being part of christian groups any more.

It's no wonder people dislike christians. I'm having a hard time not hating them too.

Atheists and the like have always been my friends. They like me for who I am and showed me that I am not wortless.

If you wanted to convert me to atheism, you are doing a fantastic job.

"...So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." The bible

Have you ever loved someone? You just you have given that special someone a gift greater than anything in the world, more valuable than anything in existance and something so great not even an omnipotent being could get from others...

But being omnipotent means being able to do anything right? It's even in the name, it means not having limits even being able force people to love you.

But, even if you were all powerful; Love would win and beat you. Let me explain:

Imagine you love someone so much you want that person to love you back, but that special someone doesn't. But you somehow became omnipotent, maybe you had a genie to grant you that wish or whatever other reason you would like.

Have you ever felt alone? That's the sound of your soul crying for love.

You might be omnipotent; but you will still hunger love. Because it doesn't matter who you are or , what have you done or who you are or what will ever happen. You need love: a friend, a family, or even that special romantic soulmate. 

But how you might ask? If I was omnipotent I could do everything including not needing love. You could also change so you don't need fun or enjoy things or so that you enjoy other things. But isn't that a self delusion? The whole point of  omnipotence is to change things to suit you, changing yourself to feel less is just fooling yourself.


Could you make others to love you?

No.Love can't  be forced, it requires free Will. If you used your amazing cosmic powers to try to force someone to love you; you would have to either:

a) Change what love is.
b) Change who you are
C) Change someone so s/he will love you.

If you changed what love is so free will it's not required then it wouldn't be love anymore and you wouldn't really be loved.

If you changed who you are then you wouldn't be loved, but rather the illusion;the person you are pretending to be would be loved instead of the real you.

If you brainwashed or changed that person so that s/he would love you, then that person wouldn't really love you as s/he would be be him/her self at all but a puppet you created for your whims and the real person would be death and gone. You would be just deluding yourself.

Love is something that has to be given willingly and no matter how powerful you are it can't be forced. Your best hope at the end would be to love and maybe even be hurt and heartbroken; to risk the pain even if you were betrayed and not loved in return. But if you are loved in return, you would receive something so valuable not even your omnipotence could grant you.

That's why love is the greatest gift there is;the greatest thing you can give, and perhaps it's the whole reason it is said that God is love; for love is the greatest gift anyone even God could give. 

                                                                    

 

"The frozen angel"

Did I ever told you how I survived that expedition, all those years ago, being trapped in those ice caverns on the north pole?

I was saved by an angel.

Yes I know what you think. it's what I always tell everyone nobody believes me. The thing is that everyone forgets that not all angels have wings. It is said that Angels are protectors and heralds: that they come from the sky to give a message.

The truth is that I am not as strong as they think. I had already accepted my fate. I was the last survivor of our expedition, no water, no food no escape from those dark caverns.

After weeks of walking I decided that I would sit and wait for the end in a nice spot. It was too high to climb even in my prime, much less when I was feeling so weak from hunger and the cold. But it was place where you could see from a distant hole in the top,  the starry night and far away planets. "A suitable place to die," I thought to myself .

But after a strange sound I realized I wasn't sitting in any ice. Using my last flare I could see that It was the corpse of a man.

"You got lost too?" I chuckled.  "At least we can see the stars,"  Maybe I was crazy talking to a corpse but he was my only companion and you must know how I hated silence and being alone.

Unlike me, he seemed so peaceful for someone lost. That's when I realized this man never had the intention to leave  or escape. No, he was actually guarding something. On his right hand he had a bracelet with a strange blue jewel. He was holding a necklace, in his hands,  with such ferocity that it took me, what I think were hours, to to be able to take it from him.

I took a closer look it had a silver looking metal with a strange symbol that resembled and eight or maybe and "s". I couldn't tell for sure. Specially not whine suddenly began to glow. I dropped it, and I won't lie to you I thought I was either hallucinating due to the cold or maybe I was seeing the doors of heaven.

The cavern I was in began to glow. That's when the corpse raised from the ground and that skeleton took the form of an old man in a toga. He was glowing and he began speaking to me.

"Are you an angel?" I asked him. But he ignored me, as if I wasn't there, he just began to talk. I was too weak and scared to try anything, so I just  listened like if I was watching a movie.

---A last will from the grave---

My name is Zor-el scientist of the supreme council of Krypton, son of the house of el and member of the cult of Rao.

"These are the final hours of my life, this is not a tragedy for I've accepted my fate.  As I give my last breaths I give my final confession to you. My greatest hope is that even if my body will die my greatest treasure will survive."

 "Don't be fooled by this human form I took. I come from  the distant planet Krypton," he pointed at a black spot in the sky.

"Long ago,  It  was the universe's  center of knowledge and science. In the fallen city of Kandor there was the pride of our whole civilization as it had the legendary library, the repository of knowledge of my people. Species from all the known galaxies came to seek the wisdom on it's halls. My brother and I were it's guardians"

 "We called it the  fortress of meditation or for some solitude; After all one needs the other to get enlightment. At it's heart there was the  crystal of  wisdom, it had stored all of the knowledge of my people, and other words. Millenia of scientific progress.

"The science council refused to believe my brother Jor-El of the demise of krypton. Not out of ignorance but out of arrogance in our power. We believed ourselves to be gods," for the first time he dropped his seriousness and chuckled to himself ," How foolish we were."

"But a secret group of us did believe him, the cult of Rao, believed in the prophecy of Rao. That from the ashes of krypton we would rise as gods.  We would rule this planet; a young yellow sun bestowing us power beyond our dreams and with the people of  these planet as our servants, krypton would rise a new" Zor-El spoke.

I won't lie when I heard this words of an invasion of alien gods, my spine was chilling more than the cold ever could. But for some reason, even with the world at risk, I just couldn't stop hearing at that man.

"While my brother tried to save krypton, I was sent here to open a doorway ; a portal that would lead us here. Maybe it was right we all died," he continued. " The moment we see ourselves as god we become tyrants, I have faith that the house of el will rise once again, not to rule , but to serve," he continued

"After Zod's uprising my brother opened my eyes. I betrayed my people, so yours might live; so our sons would become better than we ever were." the man looked at me, acknowledging my presence for the first time.

"Please keep her safe, "

--- Miriam Awakens--

"her? Maybe it was a translation error, but that crystal sounded so very important ," I wondered. I could relate as I also had an object very dear to me. I still had some photos of my wallet of my family, but I still dared not look.

Before, I could grasp what was happening or even dare to ask something, the man disappeared just as he had arrived. He was only a skeleton in the ground again. But the necklace was glowing, and as it's shine, opened a chamber made of ice,  guiding me to a place where I finally saw what the treasure he was guarding, the one he spent his finals days protecting. It wasn't the crystal of power nor a treasure or even a weapon.

There was a girl frozen in ice, yet living.Her blond her was as golden as the sun and her closed eyes were hiding eyes as blue as the sky in a sunny day. She was dreaming, waiting to breath, to laugh, to be mad, to cry. For she had lost everything....

She was my angel.

And she wasn't alone as a woman, that looked just like her, was hugging her. Both were also wearing that blue jewel. I tried to wake her up from her slumber, but sadly by touching her cold and taking her pulse I quickly realized she hadn't survived.

This time a female voice spoke, from the necklace spoke,  the voice of a desperate mother.

"My Name is Allura in Ze, I was many things on krypton I was a respected scientist; a fighter but I die as a mother. Tell our little girl we love her even if we aren't with her anymore. Even if We made her  forget about us; about her past so she would be free of our past mistakes. Tell her our love for her will follow her forever and it's my greatest wish she will be happy. Let her know, It's not the power of this sun; but her will to stand for truth; for justice, the power from her heart and the kindness in her soul; that will make her more than a girl, not as a goddess, but as a symbol of hope, as a super girl. But above all, tell her we will love her forever. "

To be honest I never understood half the things they were saying. Before I could ponder of her words and be sure if I wasn't dreaming. The crystal the girl was sleeping opened without warning. I touched her arm and I could feel a faint pulse, she was alive! I covered her with sweater so both of us might have a chance to survive. She seemed so precious as she was fragile, as much as a girl would be in a cold storm.

I finally had a reason to live to keep going. I would keep this girl safe even if I died trying, I didn't stop walking, carrying her in my arms. What my desperation to survive never could, the hope she might  did, after what felt like days, I  finally found an exit. I kept walking outside, looking for help, until my legs wouldn't move, even as much as I tried.

"Mom, Dad, Where is Kal-el?. I Put him in his craddle; that ship... I...I feel cold," she murmured in her sleep.

"I don't know . But I promise their sacrifice won't be in vain." I smiled to the girl in my arms, I gave her the necklace as I tried to give her the heat of my body so she would survive.
 
Later and helicopter looking for my crew rescued us. They said they saw my flare and praised my strength of survival.  But I told them it was an angel's shine. For me it was too late as my legs would never move again. But I don't regret anything as she was safe. Some say I saved her; I say she saved me.

'''Miriam and Moses ''

Present day

I tried to ask her about her past, but she couldn't remember anything, well anything except her name, the name of my angel: "Kara". Only the scar in her heart, the void of those she lost remained with her. Sometimes in her dreams she spoke of people made of energy and cities made of crystal. She didn't seem to have any powers or anything special,  rather than an outsider, she was like any of us, that girl had the basic desire of every kid; to be with her family.

I never knew what happened to her after I gave her to Mivale's orphanage, as I never looked back.  As her parents wanted; I made sure she would have a normal life, it wasn't hard as she didn't have any powers as her parents feared. But even if  her memories were gone,  she never quite stopped trying to find those she lost .

"My name is Virgil Swan, and this is my final message to the traveler; Kal el. You are not alone; the one that put your in your cradle; In your basket through the stars; the frozen angel is here and she is looking for you."